Spirit Spouse vs. Lust: Understanding the Root of Spiritual Marriages

Lust: More Than Just Sexual Desire

When most people hear the word lust, they immediately think of sexual desire. But biblically, lust is much broader. Lust is any desire that takes over the place of God in your heart. It can be sexual, but it can also be a craving for approval, fame, money, or control. In short, lust is misplaced worship at its root, lust is idolatry.

Lust Is Often About the Wound, Not the Desire

Many who battle lust especially sexual lust, are not just chasing pleasure. They are often trying to numb a deeper wound. Most times, that wound is rejection. A person rejected in childhood, abandoned in love, or hurt by betrayal may crave relief from the ache. For some, that relief looks like alcohol, for others it looks like endless approval, and for many it shows up in sexual lust. Lust then becomes a counterfeit comforter. Instead of turning to God to heal the wound, the soul reaches for something else to soothe the pain. That “something else” becomes an idol, and when idols are present, demonic spirits gain access. A person struggling with sexual lust may in reality be lusting after relief, not sex itself. But the spirit of lust steps in and directs the craving toward sexuality.

Spiritual Adultery and Fornication as Idolatry

In Scripture, God often described Israel as an adulterous wife or as fornicators when they turned to idols. Both terms point to unfaithfulness, because you see earthly marriage is a representation of the kind of relationship God desires to have with believers. Adultery and fornication, in the spiritual sense, happen whenever we look to something or someone else instead of God. Ezekiel 16 and Hosea are full of this imagery, where God grieves over His people giving their hearts to idols. Whether through desire for wealth, power, sexual sin, or approval, every form of idolatry is spiritual adultery.

Sexual Lust

Of course, lust does manifest in sexual ways. In the ancient world, idolatry and sex were deeply connected. At pagan temples, shrine prostitution was part of worship. Sexual acts were seen as spiritual transactions to gain favor from the gods. This shows us that sexual immorality and idolatry have always been intertwined. Even today, sexual sin is one of the clearest ways lust and idolatry can manifest in a person’s life.

Non-Sexual Lust

But lust isn’t always sexual. You can lust for fame, for people’s approval, for status, or even for marriage. Anything that consumes your focus, your energy, and your devotion above God is lust.

Colossians 3:5 says it plainly:
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.”

Notice how greed is listed as idolatry right alongside lust and impurity. Lust of any kind is idolatry because it puts desire in the place of God.

How Idols Open the Door

The prophet Ezekiel had a vision where an idol of jealousy; some translations call it “the idol of lust “sat at the very entrance of the altar, polluting God’s sanctuary (Ezekiel 8:5–6). This is exactly how idols work today. They don’t always look sexual, but they create legal ground for lust, defilement, and spiritual mixture to enter God’s temple which is your body (1 Corinthians 6:19).

It is referred to as the idol of jealousy because whatever we lust for provokes the jealousy of God. He yearns to be the One our hearts pant for.

Why Spirit Spouses Often Manifest Through Sexual Dreams

One of the ways the enemy exploits these idols is by directing demonic spirits we or our ancestors have made covenants with to manifest sexually in dreams. Nighttime sexual encounters with a spirit spouse are rarely about actual sexual desire, they are a symptom of the soul’s idols and unresolved wounds. When the heart turns to something other than God for comfort, the spirit uses sexuality as a gateway to confuse, oppress, and deepen bondage. Understanding this helps believers recognize that the problem is not always sexual sin itself, but rather the underlying idolatry and unhealed wound that the spirit is exploiting.

Idolatry can take many disguises, such as:

• Love of money or material things.
• Deep pride, self-focus, or unforgiveness.
• Obsession with beauty, image, or influence.
• Soul ties from past relationships.
• Ancestral pacts with false gods or witchcraft.
• Emotional walls built to protect yourself from further pain.
• Trauma that was never surrendered to God.

These things may seem unrelated to sex, but spiritually they function as shrines in the soul. Wherever an idol exists, the door is open for lust, sexual spirits, and defilement. True freedom comes only by repenting and surrendering every idol to God and making Him the sole object of your worship.

Take the First Step Toward Freedom

The very first step to breaking free from spirit spouses and every form of bondage is giving your life to Jesus Christ. If you don’t yet know Him as Lord and Savior, you can pray this simple prayer:

“Lord Jesus, I believe You died for me and rose again. I confess my sins and I ask You to forgive me. Today, I surrender my life to You. Be my Lord, my Savior, and my true Bridegroom. I renounce every covenant with the enemy, and I receive Your love and freedom. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

If you prayed that prayer, welcome to the family of God! 

If you already know Christ, here are your next steps for walking in freedom:

• Identify, repent and surrender idols in your life that are taking God’s place.
• Read my book From Bondage to Freedom to learn practical strategies and biblical keys to lasting deliverance.
•  Listen to my podcast Childlike with Abba for encouragement, insight, and real-life stories of victory.
•  Join my Prayer Room every Monday for live teaching, prayer, and deliverance support in a safe, Spirit-filled community.
•  Attend one of my Worship Events to encounter God’s presence in an atmosphere of freedom, healing, and breakthrough.